iliana etaoin

If you use they/them pronouns for someone who lists other pronouns, you are missing the fucking point

Everywhere I list my pronouns (and that’s a lot of places), I list she/her.

If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, they/them is correct. But if you do know someone’s pronouns (including the ability to trivially look them up), you need to use those pronouns as listed.

It’s not inclusive to call every person they/them without any regard to the individual. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable when people use they/them to refer to me, especially in writing.

(This is primarily about writing; not interrupting your speaking to look up pronouns is understandable, but don’t be defensive if you’re corrected.)